jmfargo | The Friday Five This Week Is Dumb, So Just An Update

The Friday Five This Week Is Dumb, So Just An Update

I'm visiting my parent's home this weekend in order to celebrate Christmas with the family. Maria picked out a nice present for my parents, and I'm pretty sure they'll like it this year. They're always hard to buy for, but this year my dad actually just said they wanted some nice towels because the old ones (which I'm pretty sure are as old as I am) are actually fraying in half and that he's "never owned a matching set of towels." Pretty strong recommendation on what to buy for them, I think.

Now I have to figure out if I'm buying anything for my siblings. Is it anti-holiday spirit to say that they haven't gotten me anything in the past 10 years so why should I bother getting them things? My parents took me aside when I started a job and said "Now that you have money, don't you think it's time you started getting things for your brothers and sisters on Christmas?" I kind of resent that they obviously haven't had the same talk with my siblings beyond "It'd be nice to get your brother Jeremiah a birthday card."

But really, I know that's "not what the holiday is about," and I've been told that kind of attitude is much to mercenary for the season. What's a good middle ground, I wonder? A card and some scratchy tickets? It's what I did for their birthdays this year for the same reason of "Why should I bother when I have for ten years and you guys do absolutely nothing for me on my birthday except, if I'm really lucky, a card that you randomly (trust me, it's obvious) chose from the rack. My favorite was the "Hey There Girl, Here's A Hot Stud for Your Birthday" card from a few years ago.

I know, though, that I'm going to regret it if I don't get them anything, even if they don't notice. If I don't get them anything, I lose the moral high-ground next year, and I wouldn't want that!

So what should I do? Get my siblings something cheap but useful like movie tickets from a local place? Scratchy tickets in a card? Absolutely nothing this year in hopes that they'll "get it?" They won't, but hopes are good.

Help me out here? I'm stumped.

((EDIT: I really could use some help on this. I need to know by tomorrow. Please, this really is quite a quandry for me and any opinions are better than none.))

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Go with the gift card. Only put $6.66 (or should I go with the more 'scientific/historical number' associated with the mark of the beast of, "696"?) on it for each of them. This counts as a, "I got you something" gift, keeps your dignity of moral high-ground of, "well I did get them something," and is low enough in value that if they use it they might just raise their eyebrow and get their attention.

Or draw them a card using crayons. Make it very badly, crude, and obviously wishing them a merry easter (or some other holiday, such as Labor Day). If they ask, just tell them flat out, "well seeing as you put so much effort into your gifts over the years I thought I'd join the club. Obviously you've learned something I haven't and I want to join the bandwagon."

Or get them something they really wanted, but slightly twisted so as they can't use it. For example, if one of them wants a particular CD of a band, see if you can find it in vinyl. If the band isn't that old, go with the 'type' of music and get something 'similar' on vinyl. Or you could go really old school and get them eight-tracks.

Hmm. The first one is too subtle, I think, for any of them (except maybe one, and she's the one that's getting socks) to pick up on. I'm not saying they wouldn't raise their eyebrow and it wouldn't get their attention, but I think it would be more along the lines of "Cheap bastard" than "why would he only give me this much? Could it be because I didn't get him anything for the past ten years?" It's just not the way us Fargos were raised to think, unfortunately.

Your second idea has some merit, but unfortunately would be too far. I don't want to ostricize myself from my family, and that would definately do it, quickly. My parents would say I'm acting like a child, and my brothers and sisters really still wouldn't get it. They're not dumb, they're just trained to ignore "lessons" like that.

The last one just shows your age. What are these eight-tracks again?

How about calendar's with important dates marked already on them with not-to-subtle hints.

Like a week before your birthday write on it, "J's birthday in a week." Then on your b-day you could write, "J's b-day, at least call him you schmuck." A week after you could write something like, "Follow up with J to find out how his b-day went, or your sould will be lost to the ether."

You could go less conventional, but I think this is subtle, yet very blatantly, "Hey dumb-ass I've bought you stuff, buy me stuff. It's the American way!"

I like this idea, and wish I had asked for thoughts about a week ago so that I could have done this properly. As it is, I'm thinking that this might be a good present for next year if things don't go well this year. Thanks for the idea!

I'm doing this next year, just so you know.

Or if you want to go traditionally:

Cookies are also a good way of giving a gift without having to put forward a great deal of money.

It shows you thought about them, invested time, and this way you take the moral high ground AND don't have to spend anything but a small bit of money (for the ingredients) and time.

If you were a cruel man, you could alter the recipe just enough so that the cookies taste, 'different'. Nothing harmful, mind you, but something like adding clove to the recipe would give it an awkward taste. Then deliver them and ask them what they think, insisting they try them immediately. If they tell you they're horrible, then act offended. If they smile and try to be polite, but eat it anyway, smile back. You've gotten them to eat something bad, and you can feel a little guilty about it, but it'll be just desserts for them. I truly think this is how fruitcakes came about.

You know, I do have some cookies that I baked yesterday, already sealed up and ready to go. That's really a pretty good idea and I think I might take them as a gift. They already kind of taste a little funny, but not enough that it's a bad thing, just kind of metallic. Strange.

So, yeah. Thanks for your help! You gave me some great future present ideas, and a thought of "here's something for this holiday" as well. This way, if I'm wrong and they did get me something I can at least say "Here's your cookies," and if they didn't get me anything at all (as I expect) I can say "Here's your cookies, choke on 'em!"

Maybe not.

I agree with the cookies or $5 gift card route. It shows you made some effort, but doesn't break the bank or require a whole lot of effort that would be wasted because they won't put in any effort. And if they complain, you can always tell them that it's the thought that counts.

If it was just one, it wouldn't be so bad, but I have four siblings, you know? Even a cheap gift for each costs me around $50 each year counting a card and small gift for birthday and Christmas, and that's if I'm going REALLY cheap.

If someone complains, and didn't get me anything, I think I'll just tell them "that's fine, I promise you won't be dissapointed with what I buy for your birthday or next Christmas" and then as they start to look hopeful or wondering I'll add "because I'm not getting you anything, sucker!"

Except that I wouldn't do that. :)

Ouch. Yeah, that's true.

Hehe That'd be funny though.

And speaking of money, I have that $7 I owe you (well, I guess it'll really go to Maria, cuz she put it on her card, but whatever ;) ). I'm sorry I didn't get it to you sooner. I had it the night I came to play D&D, and kept reminding myself to give it to you, but I still managed to forget until I got home...

You, uh, owe us money? Sure! Right! Gimme!

(Maria will probably remember, but I seriously have no clue what you're talking about, and it's fine that I don't know. She's the money person in this relationship.)

I'm generally non-materialistic. To the point that it drives my girlfriend nuts. She hates trying to shop for gifts for me because my policy is, "I don't really need it."

As such I also tend to be too materialistic sometimes because when she asked for a X-mas list I had a hard time getting anything on the list under $500. You know things that would be nice to own (pool table, video recorder, nice digital camera, etc.), but nothing I absolutely, "must have."

If I really want something I buy it though, assuming its under $100. I'm fairly impulsive that way.

A slight canundrum me thinks.

What I was trying to say (before my ADHD took over, was that for X-mas and birthdays and such, all I typically want is someone to mention a, "happy X" or at most a card or cookies or something that is genuine. If they feel the need. I don't hold anyone accountable for anything except the simple need to wish others well. If they don't do that, then they can kiss my shiny, red...ohhh best censor this, christmas isn't quite over and Santa is still checking his list.

I do just feel the need to point out that it's not necessarily that I'm being materialistic, mostly because I know that what they might get me probably would reflect more what they want than what I want, but instead I'm just wishing for a reciprocation of the thoughtfulness that I'm trying to show.

When my siblings don't even get me a card on my birthday it tends to feel a little harsh, you know? Especially when I try to get them a card and the best present $15 can buy! ;)

dosnt "wanting" the moral high ground loose it by defult? after all wants are selfish and, though far from evil, not exactly kind hearted.
-quandry of a carrot

I bow to thine wisdom, Immortal Carrot...

I would get them gifts, only because NOT getting them gifts means nothing changes between you all. Perhaps the material offering will rekindle those feelings of love and affection buried deep within them.

And if not then you know next year they get squat. Freeloaders...

Perhaps the material offering will rekindle those feelings of love and affection buried deep within them.

Right. It's so obvious you don't know my family. ;) It rekindled those feelings of "Ooh, look, new things to play with!" Love and affection? Afterthought, if at all.

And if not then you know next year they get squat. Freeloaders...

Actually, I'm going with the calendar idea that

akdidge mentioned. It's the one where I write important dates all through the year. Important dates like "Hey, Jeremiah's birthday comes up a week from now. Have you even bought him a card?" Or, "Hey, it's Jeremiah birthday! At least give him a phone call!" And then, "It's December 1st, have you started Christmas shopping for your siblings and their significant others?"

Not that I'm bitter. :)

Never said I was really trying to be kind hearted though. I immediately figured that I wouldn't actually gain the "moral" high ground in the sense of being moral, but looking at it from an "in family" kind of way, buying my siblings presents give me reason to complain.

Sometimes it's good to be the bad guy. Especially when you can be the bad guy by being nice to people.

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