Nature? Nature's Dumb.

[jmfargo]

Some of you that haven't been around very long probably haven't heard the Turtle Story. That's cool. Take a second and go refresh your memory.

No, seriously, it's a relatively quick read, and an important moment in my life just because of how surreal it was.

Well, it just happened again.

Now, it was unique enough to be able to say "I saved a 20 lb snapping turtle from probably getting squished to death on the road," but how about adding "twice" to the end of that?

Damn thing peed on me.

Comments

[skitty.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the same turtle?

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Separated by about 400 miles. I lived in NY then. :)

This snapper was probably a few pounds lighter than the other one, to be fair. Somewhere in the 15-20 lb range, with the other one in the 20+ lb category.

[skitty.livejournal.com]

Ah. You're a hero to turtles everywhere, then!

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying then is...it was a time-traveling turtle?!?

Ok, see...this is where I get all sci-fi fanboy-ish.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

If I had to guess, I'd say it's a traveling turtle that ages backward.

[pleepleus.livejournal.com]

LOL! You can add it to your resume. "Turtle Wrangler"

I'll say it again; you're a good guy. :)

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Heh. I like akdidge's take on it, The Turtle Whisperer. Still "Turtle Wrangler" would look good on an application too.

Thanks. I do what I can, when I can, to make things a little better here and there.

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

You should get your own show, the "turtle whisperer."

The fact that it peed on you just adds more hilarity to what I already imagined as an amusing little detour in your daily activities.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm more upset with the fact that this smaller turtle was able to scratch me with its back claws. The larger one had an area on its shell that I could grab without getting struck, but this one was just compact enough that while I was walking it, its back claws were scratching against my hands.

I only got one tiny scratch, but here I am trying to help, and it scratches my hands while peeing on me. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I hope the little jerk got home safely.

[hippie-mamabear.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Thank you for sharing that story; the mental image of you wrestling dodging the attacks of a giant turtle while holding it at arms length was pretty damned entertaining.

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

That's part I always find frustrating - when whatever animal I'm rescuing pees on me.

(Hm. It may say something about me that I have a whole category of 'damn animal peed on me' stories. Hm.)

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

*laughs* The first turtle I rescued didn't pee on me, but REALLY wanted to take a piece out of my hand. I had never picked one up before, so I was really worried about what I was doing. This turtle didn't thrash as much, just used its legs to rip up my hand a little bit, and peed on me.

I actually feel bad, because the poor thing must have been absolutely scared out of its mind.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

You're a better man than I; I wouldn't approach a snapper in anything less than full plate mail.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Heh. You just have to get it from the back, and reach around the middle, thumbs on its back, fingers hooked underneath. It's not so bad.

This one, as I said earlier, could get me with its back claws (which really sucked) but not so bad that I was bleeding or anything. Needless to say, I washed REALLY well afterward.

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, after further review, I have decided.

You have given the turtle an "alien" experience. Think about it. It was minding its own business when all of a sudden there was a bright light from above (you had your headlights on from your vehicle, right?), it was lifted off the ground (beamed up), then jostled around by hands (can you say probed?), and put put back down somewhere else.

That's it. If I ever get abducted by aliens besides the obvious of trying to fight them off, I'm also going to try peeing on them in order to get them to release me. If it worked for the turtle...well, anything is possible. ;)

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Well, remember that for me it was 8 am, nice and sunny, so no bright lights, but maybe (maybe?) a reflection or something, sure.

The peeing didn't get me to put it on the ground. I only did that once it was far enough away from the road for safety.

Still, I suggest it as a good defense mechanism if you are ever given the chance. Sure....

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

/dies laughing

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Wow, and I was feeling good about myself for saving a baby bird from the road today. All it did was poop on me. You win!