Sugar

Jan. 23rd, 2009 08:15 am
jmfargo: (Default)
We went to Dunkin' Donuts this morning for breakfast before dropping Maria off at work. Now, aside from a few cups of green tea here and there with dinner, I've been completely off caffeine for quite some time. I've avoided temptation by simply not going into coffee houses and the like. I make Maria coffee in the morning, and pour myself a glass of juice.

Today I learned that decaf sugary ice drinks are just as tasty as their caffeinated brethren.

The problem, of course, is going to be the early-morning sugar rush. I can feel it percolating at the back of my brain right now, like a small volcanic eruption of giddiness and joy waiting to explode.

Class should be fun.
jmfargo: (Default)
It's been 9 days since I've had any drink other than water. In an effort to cut caffeine completely out of my life again I've decided that for at least the month of December water is my drink of choice. No other beverage will pass my lips.

The first five days were hell. I was sick to my stomach, had horrible migraines, and every joint in my body was agony when I tried to sleep. Maria tried to help by offering me coffee, knowing that I was going through caffeine withdrawal, but I knew that the end results would be worth it; no more unnatural energy highs/lows, no more caffeine headaches when I haven't had my morning coffee, no more jitters or mood swings.

If I can remember those horrible five days for the rest of my life, I can assure you that I'll never have more caffeine than you can find in a bar of chocolate, or a small cup of green tea. I'm off the stuff for good. It's just not worth it. I'm sleeping better, I have good energy through the entire day, and my mood is leveling off; no more depression.

I just need to remember. I really hope I do, because I don't want to go through that ever again.
jmfargo: (Default)
While I was in High School, I often got my teachers angry. I didn't do it to be a wise-ass, and I actually didn't do it purposely at all. It was just the simple fact that I refused to do my homework, which hurt my grades, which upset most of them because they "know [I] have so much potential."

In my Sophomore year at VVS High School, our French teacher said something that I took as a challenge, even though she never meant it that way: "You can pass this class without doing any homework, but you'd need to get 100% on every single test, and even then you'll only pass with a grade of 65."

I passed French that year with a 65 and never did any homework.

The simple fact of the matter was that, in High School, all homework did for me was create busy-work. It was pointless for me to do, because I had already grasped the concepts in class, and the homework did not reinforce anything for me except that school was boring; that it interfered with what little social life I had.

I still feel I was right.

However, now I'm in college, taking a class that has very few similarities to my own, and isn't based in any background with which I'm familiar. Even the alphabet differs from anything I've ever done. It's read backwards, for heaven's sake!

I'm doing my homework, every night. I recognize the fact that, in order to pass this class I need to read the book, do the exercises, hand in the worksheets, and push myself. Homework must be done, because without it there is no way I'll ever catch on, especially since homework doesn't go over what we've done in class, it actually introduces what we're going to learn the next day. Then, after we've read the homework, done the worksheets, Professors Khalil and Ikram Masmoudi go over the concepts that we've already learned.

I'm absolutely adoring the way the class is going, and think that this teaching style is magnificent. I think I will do well in class. I'll do the homework, I'll learn in class, and I'll use my own time to practice the language. I haven't felt this energized about learning something since grade school.

It's new, exciting, and interesting. I'm even enjoying the homework.

My High School self would probably shoot me right now.

Oops

Sep. 15th, 2008 09:50 am
jmfargo: (Default)
Going to class soon, spent the morning slowly sipping some coffee.

Realized as my body began to hum from its vibrations that I may have overdone it again.

Comic later?

Glee!

Jul. 14th, 2008 09:17 am
jmfargo: (Default)
I just found out that University of Delaware offers digital video equipment out to loan, and that as a student I have potential access to it. Considering that I've been wanting to do a few video things for different projects, (one of which I'll be talking about tomorrow over on my zombie blog) this is absolutely awesome!

I don't think I've ever been so happy about the possibility of borrowing something. Like, libraries have books that I could borrow at any time, but I don't get all aflutter about that, and I love books!

Whoo, video!
jmfargo: (Default)
Does anyone out there know of a good tutorial to help me learn how to draw?

Like so many people these days, I have what I think could be an awesome idea for a webcomic or similar, and just don't think my stick-figure drawings will cut it. They could, as my stick-figure style is similar to Order of the Stick and a few other popular poorly-drawn strips, but for the seriousish tone that I want the strip to have, it just doesn't work well.

So, do you know of anywhere I could look to get a good idea of how to draw a human head/face? How about bodies? Backgrounds? All done, of course, in a comic-like style. What that means, I have no idea.

Also? I've had caffeine this morning because today's going to be very busy learning about how to help stay "Green" and save the Earth. If I use up the extra energy from the caffeine, I'll be fine. If I don't, I'll get cranky. If I forget why I'm cranky, and post something to that effect, someone please remind me that I'm being dumb.

Thanks.
jmfargo: (Default)
Blindsided by rage. No reason, no explanation. A few stupid bad things (little, tiny things that I'd normally not care about) suddenly seem huge and insurmountably angering and seem to be the cause, but logically I know they're not.

So what is it? Imbalance? Will food help? I don't mean comfort-wise, I mean am I low on blood sugar or something similar and thereby need some food to help stabilize whatever's going on.

Intense emotions like this out of nowhere are ridiculous.

I'll be fine. Writing about it is helping, but it's there. Maybe I just need to go on a long bike ride and look around the neighborhood, get some fresh air.

Right after pizza.

ETA: Time to switch back to decaf coffee. Was trying to save money and only buy one kind so that we could make it all at one time, but I think I'm going to have to brew mine separately from Maria's.
jmfargo: (Default)
Good morning folks!

I had some caffeine this morning because I'd heard that caffeine helps the brain function slightly more productively, and I had a test, so I thought I'd give it a try.

Of course, I also tried that "studying" thing I've heard so much about, so I can't say which one did the trick, but something helped me breeze through the 60 question quiz in 20 minutes, with a very confident feeling that I only missed 5 questions, at most. Less than a 90% on this quiz would come as quite a shock for me.

So, right before the exam, I literally felt the caffeine rush through my system. Remember, I've been off caffeine for quite a while, (except for very few times like this, when I feel I'll really need the extra energy/brain boost) so a large coffee-like drink is bound to have some pretty profound affects on me.

I'm not looking forward to the crash, but I forgot how fun the up is. I'm soaring at a million miles an hour, ready to take on anything. Sure, it's a false feeling, and actually trying to run that marathon, or do 1,000 jumping jacks would end in abysmal failure, but this is how it feels.

God, I'm glad I never got into drugs. I have enough trouble not justifying adding caffeine back into my diet (especially when I learned that not only does it help a little with brain functions, it also speeds up your metabolism), I can't imagine if I was on some actual illegal substance.

I mean, the problem with drugs is that they usually make you feel good. I can't imagine people would continue with them if they made you feel horrible while you were high; that just wouldn't make sense. They do what they're supposed to do, with very little effort on the part of the druggie. The fact that they're illegal barely matters to people who have nothing good in their lives, nowhere to turn except their next score.

I had an experience with being slipped LSD once, at Woodstock '99 in Rome, NY. Most of my friends know about it, because it makes for hilarious stories afterwards. I mean, imagine me standing in place for hours, literally hours, holding up the sky because it's made of stained glass, and all these people jumping up and down are going to break it if they're not careful.

Just imagine walking by me, my arms up-stretched towards the sky, not moving, staring up, not moving a step, no shirt on, glazed eyes, and then an hour later walking by, seeing me doing the same thing. From what I'm told/remembering, I was there for at least 3 hours, possibly longer, until the sun went down.

It's funny, and thinking about it I remember that I didn't feel bad, just worried. Bad came when I tried to sleep and it felt like all the insects within a 20-mile radius were trying to crawl into my sleeping bag. That wasn't fun, but I knew by then that something was wrong, and was able to convince myself that it was my mind playing tricks on me.

But seriously, good funny stories, not horrible feelings for most of a day, and a lot of weird things happening that I'd never see without acid (like a flying whale); these things aren't bad, and I can see why people get into it.

That's not to say they should.

There's so many other things in life that can be awesome, fun, and a little weird, but you have to expend more energy and will to get them to be fulfilling. And, they're real. You can lock yourself in a room with a few people and have whatever designer drugs are out there now, have a good time, and then come down from it, feeling like you've just been digested and excreted by some giant flying whale, or you can go put a little effort into having fun, and keep feeling good.

I'd rather keep feeling good, personally.

Oh, and pot? Pot should be legal. I still wouldn't smoke it, but that's not the point.

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