This Is My Life

1. Have you ever had an addiction?
~Never anything too serious. Just a caffeine addiction. I know, sounds silly, but I firmly believe that many people are addicted to caffeine and that it will some day be shown that this leads to early heart attacks and death. When caffeine becomes outlawed for its narcotic-like effect (the "perk" you get) and the negative effects on the body (the "death" thing) there will be a great uprising and thousands will die. They will be called the Starbuck Wars for years to come. Who will win? Nobody yet knows, the future is cloudy - probably because I haven't had my coffee yet this morning.

2. Are you afraid of the dark?
~Hmm. No? I don't mind the dark, but I tend to have a very very vivid imagination of what could be in the dark. I dread opening my eyes at night because my mind has pictured someone standing over me, or someone just walking into my room with some kind of weapon. Strangely enough the thought of zombies at night don't scare me so much - they'd have to get in the house and even though I'm a very heavy sleeper most of the time, I'd like to think that someone battering their way into the house would wake me up and if not me then Maria, who would then wake me.

3. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
~Whatever kind I'm currently eating as long as it's not nasty.

4. Have you ever been to the circus?
~Lots of times. When I got older I started to feel bad for some of the animals. Still, the non-animal acts are usually fun.

5. What do you think of North Korea testing nuclear weapons?
~They want to test? Fine. No problem with that. I think we need to start making sure we have interceptor missles prepped and ready to shoot down anything that might be fired at us. The moment that North Korea fires ON somebody? Yeah, there's unfortunately going to be a lot of loss of life. In North Korea.

Five Things About Me

1. I love playing first person shooter games like Halo, Star Wars Battlefront, Doom III, etc. The problem comes in with the fact that I absolutely suck at them. They're a lot of fun when you're NOT the worst player around. I don't have time to practice at it because I'm working either on the job, around the house, or whatever. I'm a very casual gamer who aspires to be so much more.

2. I don't know how to tell a good story. A good story is supposed to have a beginning, middle, and ending. My stories usually have a beginning, middle, and a fizzle. They just kind of peter out with me saying something like "and I thought it was funny..." while everyone around me looks confused.

3. Before getting me through the American adoption program my parents were going to adopt a young black child. It stuns me to think that my father, who once said that Sherrill (the town I'm from) was getting "weird" because he saw a black man walking down the street*, was going to adopt a black child. Okay, so this one isn't about me, but it's something from my life.

4. I get VERY easily distracted. One of the reasons my room was never clean as a kid was because I would quite often pick up a book from my room and start reading my favorite parts from it. This comes through now when I'm cleaning - books, computer, movies, all these things get in the way. I just tend to be very very moment oriented instead of broad-spectrum.

5. If I could choose only one thing to spend my money on for the rest of my life, assuming that I'd be fed and have a roof over my head, I would choose books. I love books - they can take you places, open your eyes to new ideas, and just about every silly cliche you've ever heard about books is true.

What would you choose?

*My dad's not a bad guy, I swear - he's just from a very secluded town and a very secluded life.

1. Do you play cards?
~No, never played in my life. Want to teach me poker?

2. Do you have any rings on your hands?
~Nope. A long time ago I had a ring that belonged to my grandfather, a relic of his army days, but it would tarnish my fingers so I stopped wearing it. That was the only ring I ever wore.

3. Would you describe yourself as innocent?
~In some ways, yes, in others, no, but I suppose I'd have to say no overall.

4. What do you think of chivalry?
~Unfortunately, it died about a year or so ago, maybe longer. It was sad, but Chivalry didn't want a big funeral, so I think the passing went unnoticed by many. Thankfully I was able to attend, and say a few words. "Thee. Thou. Thine. Let me get that door for you, my dearest." There was more, but I broke down when Chivalry's significant other, Honor, fell beside the casket in a swoon. We're not sure of Honor's condition, the doctors aren't hopeful.

5. Have you seen The Thomas Crown Affair?
~No. Should I?

_____________________

At some point in the past day or so, my dog WonTon ate a large piece of string.

Go on, ask me how I know.

iKnow

What songs would you play to match these situations?

1. At a sporting event:
~That's not an easy one to say because each sporting event merits its own kind of music, really. So, I'll say "Take Me Out To The Ball Game," how's that?

2. At a party/social event:
~"Putting On The Ritz" is the first song that comes to mind. Of course, depending on the party/social event I could very well be singing it in a bad karaoke style instead of just playing it.

3. Utterly depressed:
~Probably a mix of Apocalyptica doing Metallica on Four Cellos with some Banya remixed classical/dance music done up, and a little Nightwish with some Trans-Syberian Orchestra thrown in for good measure. Not that I have a playlist entitled "Music for Depression" or anything. :)

4. Driving in a car:
~I like something I can sing along with in the car, so probably some Ookla the Mok, Weird Al, and 60's tunes.

5. Feeling lustful:
~Maroon 5. Yes, trite answer, but they do it for me. So?

Things I'm Proud of That Don't Actually Matter Much At All

1. I'm one of the fastest typists that I've ever met, and am very proud of that fact. I'm not the fastest I've ever met, but definately up there. I'm extremely competitive about this, is that wrong?

2. In 11th grade my French teacher warned us that if we didn't do our homework we would have to get a 100 on every single test that year, or we would fail. I passed without doing any homework. In retrospect, it was still worth it.

3. I have strong calf muscles. They're not as good as they used to be, but I'm working on getting them back to when they were rock-hard.

4. I have very good aim when I throw things, but it only seems to function when people aren't looking. I guess you could say that I choke a lot.

5. I am unable to bake foods. I try chicken, and no matter how long I cook it it's still pink and underdone. I try cakes, they always come out dry. I just can't use an oven properly for foods that I make. I don't know what's wrong with me, especially since I'm pretty handy with just about every other type of cooking. Can anyone make suggestions? Specifically the chicken. I hate underdone chicken, even after I cook it thoroughly the thought of it having been underdone makes me sick. I have weird food things.

¡Viva Mexico!

1. Have you ever been to Mexico?
~Never. I might like to go, but I hear something about legalizing lots of really strong drugs, and that kind of frightens me a bit. Have they done this, or is it just a fever-dream of mine?

2. Do you know anyone who is currently in the military?
~My brother Andrew is in the Air Force, as well as an old High School buddy of mine, Matt. So, that would be a yes.

3. What is the last party you attended?
~I'm part of a D&D party, does that count? (Man, I'm lame. *s*)

4. What do you think about President Bush saying that the United States' National Anthem should only be sung in English?
~Well, okay, see, I kind of agree with what he said. It's fine to me that there's a release out there in spanish, but a National Anthem should be sung in the main language of the country that it's from. I wouldn't dream of going to France and singing their National Anthem in english, and I would hope they would return the same courtesy. The same goes for Spain, Germany, all places that have National Anthems. Especially England.

5. French fries or freedom fries?
~I thought this debate was long long gone. French fries. "Freedom fries" were just about the dumbest thing to ever enter the American lexicon.

Thank you.

A Little More About Me

A few (two) people cheated the other day, and asked questions after the deadline. Since I like to talk about myself, this doesn't bother me in the slightest, and I'll answer the questions here.

Here goes:

The awesome kimmaline asks in a question titled "I am a narcissistic bitch":
What made you friend me in the first place, and what made you want to become my RL friend?

~Well, I had seen you on theferrett, and noted that you seemed witty, intelligent, and friendly. I perused your livejournal for a while, just kind of ghosting in the background. I would usually only read the top entry, and so didn't really know much about you but got snapshots of your life. I think the thing that finally pulled me in was Psycho Fundie Aunt that finally pulled me in. I could commiserate as I have psycho family as well and you wrote creatively even though you were angry. (Many people would take that post and distill it to simply "My Aunt Sucks!") Things just kind of went on from there. I started replying to what you were saying because I felt that I had something to say that might help cheer you up, be humorous, or was at least relevent to the discussion. Then we started talking about life, both through comments and emails, and it just kind of grew from there into a friendship. For me, being friends online, and being friends in RL just kind of go hand in hand - I find you funny, interesting, friendly, etcetera on the 'net, so wanting to meet you in real life is just an extension of that.

"I'm going to break all the rules" enchanted_eve asks:
Oh and new multi-question...
How many Characters have you played (Larp wise)...

~Let me think. There was Vincent the Hobling, the old man whose name I can't recall because I only played him for one game (the last game I ran the kitchen incidentally), and strangely enough there are very few other memorable characters that I have played. Sure, I've played in other LARPs like Midland and such, but for some reason my characters never seem to "stick" with me.

and in what way did you like/dislike, identify/not itdentify with them?

~Vincent was an honestly dishonest person. Everyone KNEW he was a sneaky-ish little bastard, and yet everyone loved him. He was helpful when he could be, wasn't afraid to spend money on his appetite both for food and for interesting alchemical substances, and also wasn't afraid to part with his gains (both ill-gotten and fairly won) in order to help protect the town. Sure, people knew he was crooked, but I think they also knew he wouldn't steal from a friend. Much. What I didn't like about Vincent wasn't about him, it was about me. I couldn't move like I wanted him to move, I couldn't pick locks very well, or disarm traps. The things I wanted Vincent to be good at, I wasn't. It kind of killed it for me because I just kept coming up against my own failings. That's life though, I suppose.

The old man, he was fun. I made him as an almost strictly RP character, with magic to back him up if people started causing trouble in his kitchen. He was a healer/mystic and was more generous than any character I've ever played, except when it came to his food because hey, we all need to make a profit. Magic was his first love, cooking his second. I would get so into character with him that cooking on a day when it was over 90 in the shade wasn't a chore so much as a challenge. Actually, I miss playing the old man because I think we need more strictly RP characters at all these LARPs I play in. I identified with the old man because he was lazy, except when it came to working, and then he had a very strong work ethic. That's very much like me. I didn't identify with him because he was a bitter old man, and I'm not old.

I'm currently making a character for Midland based a little off of both. I want to play a pure magic caster, with a little bit of "rogue" added in, but in a non-town-threatening way. Midland, if you can believe it, seems to be even more of a "we're the good guys" focused game, and I don't want to ruin anybody's fun.

Friday Five

1. When is the last time you were broke?
~Two days ago, when the stove started leaking gas and I had to give up the little bit of money I had in order to help purchase a new one. Now, however, I am getting that money back because Maria got profit sharing this quarter at her job! Yay!

2. What makes you lose focus?
~Just about anything from a video game to a umm I'm going to go play a video game now.

3. How tall are you?
~Five foot eleven and three quarters, damn it.

4. Are you brave or cowardly?
~You know, I'm pretty cowardly in non-serious situations. Spider? Run like hell is coming after you! Serious situations? Well, I'd like to think I'd be brave, but thankfully I've only been in a few situations I thought were serious enough to warrant bravery, and I did what I had to do.

5. What's in your pocket?
~Well, about $15 in my front right pocket and my mostly empty wallet in my left front pocket. And I guess my hand as I search each one.

Five Things You Probably Don't Know About Me
And Might Not Want To
but maybe should

1. I'm extremely creative in my head, but the minute it comes to putting it down on paper I go blank. Whether it's drawing (which I can't do) or writing (which I try to do), once I look at that blank page, my mind copies it. As I write this right now, that's exactly what my brain is doing, going blank.

2. If I had to choose one meal to eat for the rest of my life, and I could have any variation of that type of meal as long as it remained the same basics, it would be soup and sandwich. Many people would think of me as a steak and potatoes kind of guy, but I prefer soup and sandwich over just about anything else. I guess it's the little kid in me.

3. I don't talk much about religion, so here you have my answer: I believe. All of it. Everything. It all exists, and they're all right. Everything. Yup. Deal with it. You get exactly what you believe you deserve.

4. I still want to grow up to be a ninja. This is just another proof of me being a big kid. Nothing wrong with that, right? I hope I never grow into an adult because then I couldn't be a Toys R Us kid.

5. I often experience time displacement. It's not as simple as I think it's Tuesday when it's really Friday, but that happens all the time. Instead, I sometimes think it's 2009, but it's actually 2004, oh, wait, 2006. I even thought I was 29 the other day, to the point where I corrected my mom on a bit of family knowledge, and got some really weird looks from the rest of my family. I have no idea why this happens, but it's definately weird.

1. What's the weather like?
~Dark, cold, and kind of dreary. Of course, this being Buffalo it snowed yesterday, and will probably be around 60 or so later today.

2. When is the last time you felt appreciated?
~I just recently had a friend tell me that she's not in love with me, or sexually attracted to me, but that she likes me. I felt appreciated, strangely enough. :)

3. What is the last bad news you heard?
~How bad are we talking? I mean, my boss just told me not to come in until noon when I had already woken up at 6am thinking I had to be there by 8am. In my little sheltered world, that's pretty bad news. Not because of the lost hours, understand, but because I got up an hour earlier than I would have otherwise.

4. What is your favorite sad song?
~Oh gods. Today you mean? Lacrymosa, Requiem done in a chorus style, sung in the original Latin. Yeah, that's right, I'm geeking it old school!

5. Tell us about something you're obsessed with:
~I'm absolutely, completely, 100% obsessed with being the best, most accurate, and fastest transcriptionist at work. I want to go with such speed that I can write what people are saying as they are saying it. In fact, I've been working on my psychic powers so I can write what they're saying before they say it!

Okay, maybe the psychic powers things is going to far. That's why it's called an obsession. Duh. :)

FIVE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

I was going to write this up, and then remembered that it was Friday Five time, so I'm doing a double 5 today, I guess. Hopefully I keep it interesting enough to be read without boring anyone. Pancakes!

1) In case you didn't know, I'm adopted, and so are my four siblings. I'm from the United States, and they're from Korea. Please understand, though, they ARE my "real" brothers and sisters, and my parents ARE my "real" parents. Just not biological. It's an important distinction, to me.

2) I live with my amazing girlfriend, whose name is Maria. I love her very much!

3) My favorite thing to do is to read. I know that sounds stuffy and boring, but a nice night to me is laying in a cozy room reading a book with a good friend nearby to share funny quotes and quips with. Of course, talking to said friend is good too.

4) I get easily obsessed with things. I jump from one "want" to another in an instant, and that new thing is almost always the coolest thing ever. Unfortunately, this isn't just about toys, it happens in my search for running businesses as well. I'm trying to curb this impulse, but it's difficult.

5) I'm happy with who I am, for the most part. Sure, I want to change a few things, some bad habits, lose weight, but I like me. I have a bad sense of humor that I like using far too much, I love having friends to talk with, I'm obsessed with this computer thing (it'll never catch on), and I like to think I'm a pretty good guy. I'm not wildly successful yet or anything, but I'm okay with that. I like me, and want others to do the same thing, but if they don't then that's okay too.

That's me. I'm thinking I might do this every Friday, when I think about it, along with the Friday Five. It's kind of fun for me to come up with 5 things that I think are important to know about me.

Later, I'm going to write a LARPing post, about some of my misdeeds and adventures. Yay!

1. Which movie character is most like you?
~Ron Weasley. I'm not a main character, really, I'm just the slightly bumbling friend that helps out in a pinch.

2. Which TV character is most like you?
~Jack Bauer. What? I live in a fantasy world. Sue me. Okay, fine, let me think.
The girl from Dead Like Me, George. She's got a big heart, but kind of waffles around the edges a bit. She means well, but never really commits to anything. It's kind of a parallel to my life. Except for that whole being a Grim Reaper thing.

That'd be cool.

3. Which literary character is most like you?
~Samwise Gamgee, for the same reason I picked Ron Weasley for number one. I am loyal to the end, but not really the guy to fill Frodo's shoes. (I hear what you're thinking about that last comment. You're dirty.)

4. Which song describes you?
Ookla the Mok's My Secret Origin. (Clicking on My Secret Origin will start a ~legal~ download of the song. I like the mostly acoustic version better, but this is the only legally viable option.) It says just about everything about me that you'll ever need to know. Mostly. :)

5. Which animal is most like you?
Ocelots. I just like their names. I have no idea what they're like or what they do, but they sound cool, and I think they'd appreciate that the answer I'm giving right now is hilarious. If you don't think it's funny, it's because your a Capuchin Monkey, or something. Yeah!

Okay, I said I was going to update. Umm.

Things are good. Now go listen to that Ookla the Mok song. If you're even CLOSE to my level of geek, you'll understand the song. Like I said, the acoustic is better, but in this case it's all about the lyrics.

1. Have you broken any New Year's resolutions yet?
~The resolutions I made are difficult to break, especially when I think about everything that they would mean to me. Most of them are long-term goals, and so saying I had broken one this early would be like saying I gave up.

2. Broken any bones?
~I don't think I've ever broken a bone, but my parents always confuse me on this one. Sometimes they say I did when I was really little, and sometimes they say it was stitches. However, they agree it was one or the other, not both.

3. When is the last time someone else broke your heart?
~I haven't had my heart broken in over six years, but before that the last time I had my heart broken was my own fault. Before that? I guess the last time would have been almost 8 years ago, now.

4. What is the most expensive item you've ever broken?
~1998 Ford F-150 truck, wrapped around a tree. I swear, it wasn't my fault! The tree jumped out and bit me!

5. What phrase are your tired of hearing over and over again?
~"There's nothing we can do about it." I hate helplesness when it's actually just brought on my laziness. A few of you will know the specifics of what I'm talking about, and a few of you don't. Doesn't matter, really, as it's not just the specifics of it that bother me.

I go back to the gym today to do a full workout, both cardiovascular, and muscle-building. I can't say I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm looking past that and towards the results, which I can say I'm really looking forward to. I only have three months to prove to myself (and Maria, the person in control of the money) that a full year's membership would be worth it for me, so I need to make sure that I get in the habit of going at least three times a week, preferrably four. My trainer suggested that for the first two weeks I limit it to three so that my body can adjust to the change. Considering the pain my muscles are in from what little working out I've done so far, I think that's a good idea.

What is it about the workout that I hate and love so much? I'm not entirely sure why, but when I'm done I'm both happy, and frustrated. I know that I'm happy because I've come there, I've worked out and been productive. I'm tired, but successful, and that's a wonderful thing. However, I still leave feeling as though I haven't done everything I could, even though my body is telling me that it's quitting time. There's a feeling that even if I push myself to the breaking point, it wouldn't be enough.

I'm not normally so anti-myself that I'm feeling down on any accomplishments. Usually I'm happy just getting anything done, be it dishes or a small workout at home like Dance Dance Revolution. For some reason, this gym membership is different.

Could it be the reason I mentioned above? My mind is so set on seeing a change at the end of three months that it wants to push me past my limits and into overdrive? That's definately possible, but there has to be something more since I knew that coming in. I knew a three month membership was going to be a tough sell on me, and I fully expected to push myself, but this much, mentally? Never.

So, to satisfy my mental urging, I workout, I come home, and I work around the house even if my legs are so sore it hurts to walk, or bending over to pick up the dishes from the dishwasher makes me never want to stand back up again. I force myself to move. It seems to help a little, but it doesn't quite take the edge off of everything I do that says "It's not enough."

Maybe I'm just growing up, and that part of me that was never really there before, the ambitious, drive-driven part that so many people seem to have, is actually coming into being in me? That could be the cause, I think.

It's time to limp into the kitchen, do some dishes, and make some breakfast for myself. It won't be enough breakfast of course.

I'm starting to see how this could work against me.