Reliving The Childhood

So I want a Nintendo Wii. This shouldn't come as a big surprise to anyone. The reason, however, might be rather anti-climactic. See, the new games, with all the pretty graphics and cool interplay look neat, but I want Golden Axe. And Sonic. And old Nintendo games. And access to Gamecube games as well as the newest coolest games.

I love the versatility of the console. It's not just one, it's just about every single Nintendo console (and a few non-Nintendo consoles) ever made!

So I was thinking that as a birthday present to myself (you know, in 3 months or so) I would buy it. Anyone know why I shouldn't? OR why I should get one sooner? I've heard awesome things, but really all I see are ads, so of course they're going to come across as being awesome. I love hearing about personal experience. So, what've you got for me?

A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY!

HEY, YOU!

Yeah, you, right there, in the Western New York area! I'm coming to you live today with the opportunity of a lifetime. Okay, of this week. Are you listening? Can you hear me okay in the back there? Great!

Listen, it's come to my attention today that I am going to be completely, one hundred percent, fully alone at home until after midnight tonight! This realization comes with a small problem for me though, but my problem is your reward!

There's no food in the house.

"But Jeremiah" I hear you asking, "how could that be my reward?"

The answer is SIMPLE!

Your reward, just for being you, is that you get to come to my house and take me out for lunch or dinner! Afterwards we can go to Coldstone Creamery for their wonderfully delicious ice cream delights, and you won't even have to pay for my dessert, because I have a buy one get one free coupon! Whoo! Yeah! Get pumped!

Or, if that sounds too good to be true, here's another offer. Are you listening? Are you excited? Are you pumped!? Okay!

If you come out now, yes right now (after letting me know you're on your way), you can take me to the bank, where I can get out my own money, and we can just split the check!

That's right buddy. I'm willing, today only, to go out to lunch or dinner with you, and completely, 100% split the check. All you have to do is call us now, come over to get me at an appointment time, and bring me to the bank before 5 so I can cash my paycheck, the we will enjoy a meal and you will have the awesomeness of my company!!

Still too good to be true?

I'll even eat the cost of the ice cream, and let you have the free one! Yes!

Operators are standing by now.

((EDIT: Man, you guys don't know a good offer when you see one. :p))