New Me, Day 1

Well, today's the big day. I start my diet, along with a few of my good friends here on livejournal.

Maria, my wonderful girlfriend, also wants in on it. However, she didn't give me her weight before going to work this morning, so I can't record anything for her in here.

Here's how it's going to work, for me:
Mondays, and only Mondays, I will weigh myself at 9am EST. I will record the weight here, noting any weight loss, or gain. Let's hope it's only loss, but hey, I know me.

The other days, excepting possibly the weekends, as it's difficult for me to get online Saturday/Sunday, I will keep notes on my workout routines, what I eat, and anything else that pops to mind. This will help me keep track of my progress.

So, the exciting weigh in of this morning. I'm quite dissapointed in myself, honestly. I took two measurements, both were the same. I weigh exactly 300 lbs. It'll be easy to keep track of how much weight I lose from this point forward, but damn, that's a lot of me.

So, Day 1, Weigh-in 1: 300 lbs.

Good luck to everyone. 89 more days to go.

Adventures In Shopping-Land

So, I went grocery shopping. This, in and of itself, is normally an adventure, filled with travesty, tragedy, and comedy. Daring chases, near fatal shopping cart accidents, and dramatic dialogue witht he check-out person almost always fill any trip to any local grocery store.

But that's just a normal trip. This trip was a "special" trip, made special by the sparsity of people in the store. This, theoretically, meant that I could go fast, get my things, check out, and be done without nearly as much hassle and excitement as normal.

Alas, this was not to be.

It started at the meat counter. For some reason, the agent behind the glass case didn't understand the word "pound." Using my "agent-speak," I thought I had simply asked for a pound of turkey. She sliced, stacked, and started to wrap what I read on the scale as .5 lbs.

Politely I tried my agent-speak again. It's been a while, I could be rusty, I thought to myself. I watched in amazement as she not only piled up one pound, but two! Now she was starting to wrap two pounds of turkey!

One last time I politely used agent-speak. "I'm sorry, I only wanted one pound." Her reply was, well, surprising.

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

I got my pound of turkey.

I went to check out, making sure I hadn't been followed. The cashier nodded politely to me, making sure not to say anything like "Hi," so as to not incriminate herself, I'm sure.

I watched as she started to double bag my groceries, a paper bag inside of a plastic. I said something to the effect that I just needed one or the other, not both. I must have spoken softly as she continued doing the same thing.

Then something interesting happened. She got to the chicken and she took out a smaller plastic bag which she used to wrap the chicken. "Not bad, I suppose," I thought, realizing that this was to protect from cross-contamination. "A bit wasteful, but it's too late to say anything now."

The cashier-agent proceeded to then grab my imitation (fake) crab, and repeated the process. This confounded me, but again, it was too late to say anything. As she reached for my ground beef, I thought "Well, at least that'll be kept seperate from everything. With the beef scare, I guess that's good."

I was wrong. The beef she just placed in the bag with everything else. As hard as I tried, I could not fathom the line of reasoning that said chicken gets wrapped, as well as extremely preprocessed imitation crab, but not the beef.

It must be some kind of code that I'm forgetting. Can any of my agents enlighten me as to what it means? Perhaps it's time I turn in my badge and mustard gun.