They Say...

I'm not quite sure where to begin.

They say the beginning is usually the best place to start.

Well then. In the beginning...

Maybe not quite that far back?

Very well. I will start when it all stopped making sense and everything sort of blew up in my face, will that suit you, my friend?

I suppose.

I woke up. An inauspicious beginning, I know, but there it is. I woke up. Looking at the walls around me, and the beautiful young lady next to me I knew I was happy, and I knew that today would be as good a day as I have had in a while.

Then I realized I had no clue where the hell I had woken, or who the beautiful young lady next to me was. I didn't remember drinking, so I doubted it was one of those problems that could be explained away with a laugh about how drunk I was, and a quick VD test.

I got up from the bed quietly, trying to find my clothes. Strangely, they weren't to be found. Or at least, they weren't to be found until I opened the drawer near the bed. There, folded nicely, clean and crisp, were my clothes. I decided not to question it yet, figuring that would be prudent.

Prudent?

Expedient then, perhaps? I still wasn't freaking out, I was too confused for that.

Go on.

Anyways, I went downstairs, well, first I used the pisser, but then I went downstairs. Nice place, definately nicer than my apartment downtown. So, I grabbed my keys. I don't know why they were hanging on the key rack and not in my pants - you know, the nicely folded and cleaned ones - but there they were, gleaming in the half-morning light, so I grabbed them and ran outside. I didn't want to face this pretty woman when she woke up. If she had been half as drunk as I must have been...I couldn't, can't, see any other explanation. Did the toxicology report come back in? Was it alco..

Please, you're getting side tracked. You left?

Yes, yes, I left. I went to my apartment but the damn key wouldn't work. When I finally got in, heh, the credit card trick, you know? When I finally got in I realized some other asshole must have done the same trick because all my shit was gone. Just...gone!

I didn't know what to do, so I made my way back to the house with the woman in it. As I pulled up I noticed the police car, and that's when they grabbed me.

Yes sir, but you're missing an important part of the story.

Really, which one?

Were you planning on telling us when and why you murdered your wife the night before?

Pure Madness

By this time tomorrow, the room that I am in right now will have undergone a drastic overhaul, and will have a hardwood floor, new molding to fix the issues around the edges (some cracks) that the hardwood floors create, and it will have a brand new refrigerator in it.

That's right. The refrigerator will be in the den, which was the dining room, which is now the den/kitchen. This will help us add room to the kitchen, which is something we drastically need.

And then we're going to retile the kitchen.

This was almost all my idea.

Awesome.