Today, Tomorrow, Forever

I feel as though my brain is full. Like a glass full to the brim of red wine over white carpet, another drop spells disaster, and for a moment it hangs on, but you know what's going to happen, and then...

But thankfully when the brain gets full you don't have a mess to clean up, or not a visible one at least. The one left behind as all your thoughts come tumbling out over the edge can be pretty messy, but usually easily cleaned.

I'm taking college-level Arabic, and today was the first class.

The second I repeated the words the teacher would say, they were forgotten. Immediately, as though swept away, the words I was trying to remember were gone. I turned to my paired partner, and didn't know what I was supposed to say.

I can't ever remember feeling stupid. In High School there were plenty of concepts I just didn't grasp, but I never had to really work to remember the basics. This, today? This was horrifying.

The fact that two of the students are native Arabic speakers also seems unfair.

Add to that one of the female students coming to me before class and asking if I was the teacher, and now I feel old on top of everything else.

Today is not a happy day, but I'll survive.