Today, Tomorrow, Forever

[jmfargo]

I feel as though my brain is full. Like a glass full to the brim of red wine over white carpet, another drop spells disaster, and for a moment it hangs on, but you know what's going to happen, and then...

But thankfully when the brain gets full you don't have a mess to clean up, or not a visible one at least. The one left behind as all your thoughts come tumbling out over the edge can be pretty messy, but usually easily cleaned.

I'm taking college-level Arabic, and today was the first class.

The second I repeated the words the teacher would say, they were forgotten. Immediately, as though swept away, the words I was trying to remember were gone. I turned to my paired partner, and didn't know what I was supposed to say.

I can't ever remember feeling stupid. In High School there were plenty of concepts I just didn't grasp, but I never had to really work to remember the basics. This, today? This was horrifying.

The fact that two of the students are native Arabic speakers also seems unfair.

Add to that one of the female students coming to me before class and asking if I was the teacher, and now I feel old on top of everything else.

Today is not a happy day, but I'll survive.

Comments

[angielabrie.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wish I looked older than I do. When I was a supervisor and trainer, I got a lot of pushback from employees who thought they were above learning from someone who could pass for their daughter/granddaughter :o/

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, I AM old compared to these kids. I'm probably a decade older than most of them, and I even think of them as "these kids."

Still, I kind of know where you're coming from. I knew a lady who I would have sworn was 20 at most, and she was in her late 30's. She was a manager, and had the same kinds of problems.

[angielabrie.livejournal.com]

I used to be a seminary teacher. I was horrified when none of my students knew who Nirvana was...lol I feel your pain!

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yeah. I've come to realize and accept that I'm old. I mean, I'm not OLD*, but if I'm going to be going to college I have to get used to the fact that most of the students are in their teens.

At least I'm still young compared to my D&D crowd. Got to keep it all in perspective. :)

*I'm not even sure what I qualify as old, yet. Definitely over 60, but 50? I don't know. 40? Nope. I'm too close to 40 for it to be ~old~. :)

[1mother1.livejournal.com]

Holy Cow you guys YOU ARE NOT OLD! I'm fifty-four and in great shape. I volunteer at an extended day care facility. One woman on her hundreth birthday said, " I'm finally a old lady "

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Everything is relative mom. :)

[1mother1.livejournal.com]

Ok Ok

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Heh.

I'm just sayin', I realize I'm not actually old, but at the same time here I am surrounded by people who are looking at me as though I AM old.

That can make anybody feel old. You know? :)

[1mother1.livejournal.com]

I guess the difference between you and me is my age doesn't bother me no matter how old somebody is.

[jfs.livejournal.com]

Students are entering university this year who weren't alive when Live Aid was on.

That's my own particular metric of "Now I feel old".

Well, that and I had to explain what an Overhead Projector was last year when I used it as a metaphor for layers in graphics software.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Well, that and I had to explain what an Overhead Projector was last year when I used it as a metaphor for layers in graphics software.

Ouch. I feel older now.

[periannth.livejournal.com]

That makes even me feel old...I used to think those projectors were so cool.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I can't help but laugh at the idea of you being old, but that's just because when we all went out to a bar to celebrate yours and Earl's graduation you were the only one not legal to drink. Heh. THAT was funny.

Of course, it was also one of the first times I thought to myself "Wow. I'm getting old."

[kmg-365.livejournal.com]

We got a bit of that when we went to open houses earlier this year. Almost every agent assumed we were either first time buyers or that we were moving up from a condo. They looked utterly surprised when we told them that no, we are moving out of the single-family home we have owned for a decade.

[kauricat.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I think I know what you're feeling. I had the same kind of experience my first day in German class. I was totally freaked by the end (the instructor wouldn't speak anything but German) and wanted to drop. I got talked out of that and went on to really enjoy the class. I SO hope you have a similar experience.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I think if our professor had talked nothing but Arabic, he'd have 2 students left at the end of the day. The native speakers.

I'm not too concerned, I guess. I mean, I AM freaking out, but in the back of my mind that calm, soothing voice is still there telling me it'll all be okay. When THAT voice starts to freak out, I'll drop the class. :)

[kmg-365.livejournal.com]

The fact that two of the students are native Arabic speakers also seems unfair.

Ummm...what the hell are they doing in an Arabic class?

When I took a semester of German in college, I was a fish out of water. The teacher didn't speak to us in any English to begin with. All of the other students were practically fluent, having lived in Germany for years. I could barely string a sentence together.

I was told by my guidance counsellor that I had to take that class at that level in order to graduate. I did not. I think I may have managed a B, but it was really, really difficult. I have no aptitude for foreign languages.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

what the hell are they doing in an Arabic class?

Easy credit. I could take English and get my language requirement met, but to me that's just...I don't know...a waste of a class.

[kmg-365.livejournal.com]

I could take English and get my language requirement met

Really? We had to take a foreign language in order to meet the language requirement. Well, the language requirement that I didn't actually need, but...oh, you get the point. :-D

[blood-of-winter.livejournal.com]

Wow.. learning Arabic is impressive. Learning any foreign language is challenging really but when you add in a completely different alphabet, that just doubles the fun :) Good luck!

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Thanks! One of the reasons I decided to go for Arabic is that it's so completely different from anything I already know that it'll either push me to learn and grow, or crush me under its foot.

A Taoist teacher of mine once taught me that if we never push past what we think our limits are, we'll never find where our limits really lay.