Feeling of Something
Dec. 28th, 2005 11:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jmfargoI'm strangely angry and confrontist today. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me, but I'm seriously ready willing and able to rip someone apart for a comment meant only in jest, or just rip someone apart for the hell of it. Maybe I just haven't sparred in a while, and it's getting to me, I don't know.
Maria's going to buy me a membership for a local gym up here, the BAC, which is a nice place. My membership will be three months long, and I'm going to tell them to put me on a regiment that will show results within that time frame if I stick to it religiously. Once the three months is up I will look at a few factors. The first thing I need to look at is if the money was worth it - did I actually go and work out when I said I would? The second thing I need to look at is if the money was worth it - if I did work out as often as I said I would, did it actually show anywhere near the results I was hoping for?
This aggressiveness that I've been feeling lately has actually been around for more than just today, and I'm not sure where it's coming from. It's gotten noticeably worse the past few days, with Maria noticing my bad mood, and me taking what she says in the worst possible light. It's not just Maria, of course, but she's the one I'm around the most, and thus the one that I hear most from. According to her, I'm "surly."
It's possible that working out at the BAC will help me get this out of my system, whatever it is. I think that part of it is a vague dissatisfaction with where I am, physically, and there's a bit of depression added in there, but I'm not sure exactly where it comes from. Could be a seasonal thing.
I shouldn't be in such a bad mood though, if I think about how life is going right now. Maria and I are rather comfortable money-wise and with each other ... I have a promising-looking phone interview with GEICO in an hour ... and I've started writing much more the story I've been working on for a while. Things are going fairly good, and the only thing that I can think of that's a negative influence in my life right now is this extremely crummy weather. I hate winter rains. Well, the weather and my physical being.
I guess we'll see what happens when I start working out regularly. Am I the only one suffering from unexplained rage or sadness? It's quite confusing.
Maria's going to buy me a membership for a local gym up here, the BAC, which is a nice place. My membership will be three months long, and I'm going to tell them to put me on a regiment that will show results within that time frame if I stick to it religiously. Once the three months is up I will look at a few factors. The first thing I need to look at is if the money was worth it - did I actually go and work out when I said I would? The second thing I need to look at is if the money was worth it - if I did work out as often as I said I would, did it actually show anywhere near the results I was hoping for?
This aggressiveness that I've been feeling lately has actually been around for more than just today, and I'm not sure where it's coming from. It's gotten noticeably worse the past few days, with Maria noticing my bad mood, and me taking what she says in the worst possible light. It's not just Maria, of course, but she's the one I'm around the most, and thus the one that I hear most from. According to her, I'm "surly."
It's possible that working out at the BAC will help me get this out of my system, whatever it is. I think that part of it is a vague dissatisfaction with where I am, physically, and there's a bit of depression added in there, but I'm not sure exactly where it comes from. Could be a seasonal thing.
I shouldn't be in such a bad mood though, if I think about how life is going right now. Maria and I are rather comfortable money-wise and with each other ... I have a promising-looking phone interview with GEICO in an hour ... and I've started writing much more the story I've been working on for a while. Things are going fairly good, and the only thing that I can think of that's a negative influence in my life right now is this extremely crummy weather. I hate winter rains. Well, the weather and my physical being.
I guess we'll see what happens when I start working out regularly. Am I the only one suffering from unexplained rage or sadness? It's quite confusing.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 05:14 pm (UTC)1) Nope, I'm not feeling unexplained rage or sadness. Last night I opened my first Christmas Lego Vikings set, yay! I was up until 4:30AM writing a review of it, which I'll have to edit today before I post it at Lugnet.
2) Got to play board games last night. Game of Thrones, Risk 2210 AD, and.... wait for it, wait for it.... Zombies!!! Here's a review -> http://www.angelfire.com/games/zombiereviews/reviews/zombiesrvw.html
3) The Zombies!!! game made me think of something you might like (I'm great at silly ideas, so long as I don't have to do them myself ;) ). How about a Zombie board game that is "educational"? Take all the Zombie survival points and roll them into a board-game. The game could cover either a specific part of the Zombie Apocalypse (like "Fighting the Hoard", which is what the Zombies!!! game focuses on), or surviving the whole thing, from having enough stocks of food, fuel, weapons, etc. before the Zombies appear through Post-Apocalyptic survival. The game would need to a) be fun and b) stick to basic rules of Zombie survival in order to help teach people who play. Then the next step is to bundle the game with a book, like the Zombie Survival Handbook.
4) http://kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=2349&rtn=index-topten - A long video, but interesting, and helps show how an unprepared individual could have trouble with zombies. Of course, put some hardcore Zombie survivalist in there and you'll end up with some very dead volunteers!
OK, enough of that, I need to do some work :)
-tt
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 06:03 pm (UTC)I kept yelling at the screen like a guy at the movies, "Damn it, aim for the head you idiot! Don't you know anything! Shoot her while she's down or she'll just come after you later! Move! Don't stop moving! You have to assume it's real, you have to assume that what you're facing is real and focus on the 'why' later!"
The only real issue I have is that he was completely locked in the room and didn't try more than "jiggle the handle." Well, it's not the only real issue I have with it, of course, but still it was very cool. Thank you.
That game sounds like fun too, but I'm not sure I could do a board game. Maybe a card game a-la Munchkin?
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 07:19 pm (UTC)I'm figuring that maybe I just should let it all pass before I open up my mouth or post something on my journal. Because looking back, all my journal entries make me out to be a total bitch.
-Elle
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 08:30 pm (UTC)Then again, watching Shrek 2 seems to help a bit. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 09:41 pm (UTC)unexplained rage/sadness is probably coming from somewhere... maybe you should try meditating or something. spend some time focusing on your mental emotional well being and try to figure out what's got you.
It might just be boredom. sometimes I just get in a bad mood cuz im bored.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 10:13 pm (UTC)Meditating is a really good idea. It's been a long time, and I probably need a good sit-down within myself. Thank you for the idea, I'm not sure I would have come up with that myself, and it's probably going to help.
Boredom too, is a factor, which should be helped through the gym, I'm hoping.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 10:05 pm (UTC)I've spoken to you I believe in the past about this. Make sure your lights in your house are full spectrum to ensure this isn't the case. It might be something as simple as buying better lights that will cheer your mood up.
You could always ask your caring girlfriend to allow you to induldge in $10 or so and go to an Office Supply store. That'll help.
I myself have found myself angry at the world lately (last couple years or so) but I'm guessing mine is related to me having turned 30 in October and no longer being the perfect physical specimen that I was in my youth. It sucks having all this kick-assery (yes it is too a word, in my mind at least) knowledge of martial arts but a body that's falling apart every time I even begin to practice anything that's high intensity. I don't really have an outlet for my anger so its been building. Slowly, but surely.
I think I may join you in your gym membership. Its something I've told myself I need to do, and its high-time I got off my butt and did it.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 10:11 pm (UTC)If I'm getting to a gym, you can too. :)
And yeah, you're right about the Office Supply store. I'm happier just thinking about it. That's so nutsy.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 10:32 pm (UTC)Yes, but will I be productive in a gym, that's the reall question. Last time I checked (year before last) I could bench 400 if it was a few inches off my chest. If it was a traditional bench I could do 250 easily*. Now? I'm guessing 200, but I'd have to check to be certain.
Gym meberships cost a bloody fortune though up here, and its silly to have one for the summer. But its not summer now. Hmm...
-- you're right about the Office Supply store. I'm happier just thinking about it. That's so nutsy. --
No, it means we're more alike than you realize. Yeah, I said it. Deal with it. ;)
*With veins buldging from forehead.