Heh

[jmfargo]

(I posted this over at MySpace, because I had already posted something here this morning and a while ago people complained I posted too much in one day so I got a little self-conscious. I decided I would copy - paste it here in its entirety because a lot of the people that I want to see this are HERE, not there.)

I'm in a fantastically good mood and yet there's still something nagging in the back of my mind. It seems that MySpace isn't normally used for posts like this - they're normally more sedate and "real life," much less "feeling" posts, but I already posted over at my livejournal within the last hour or so, and don't want to flood my friends with it, so you lucky people get to get flooded by this. Congratulations!

I feel lately as though I'm going for a very long car ride, and though I don't know the destination I know that I'm happy to get there. Lots of things are getting in the way of course, many roadblocks that cost money, time, and take up valuable resources, but they just seem so minor, unimportant. It's the car ride that I'm enjoying, and these little stops are simply...annoyances.

Sure, in real life the fact that we've had to buy all new appliances in the first few months of this year is a big deal - we thought our finances were doing pretty good until we managed to break the dishwasher, refrigerator, and stove - but it just doesn't matter to me. Yes, I know we're in debt up to our eyeballs (good debt though, mostly, like the house and car), and that my free time has become erratically filled with a job that's not giving me nearly the hours I thought it would be, but these things feel just so transitory to me.

For the first time in a really long time I can honestly say that I'm happy. Content. I like who I am, and where I am. Sure, there are issues, but they'll be worked out, life goes on, and these things are just minor inconveniences. I honestly feel like I could do almost anything right now. I don't know, it's strange to me.

I guess you could say I'm trepidatious though. I'm happy, but in the back of my head, far back so much I can barely hear it the old me is still there, lurking. "Jeremiah," he hisses, "sure, things are going well, congratulations. I'll be back though, when the other shoe drops. I'll be waiting, just you see. I'm here for you, when you need me."

Personally? He can stay there.

Comments

[norda.livejournal.com]

I'm pleased to read about people who are content. Too few of those around.

Nothing wrong with feeling cautious, though, and keeping a wary eye out.

I'm still bemused by that comment about you posting too much, but I haven't been on your list very long. I know *I* like reading what you write. I've not had much of substance lately.

And your Sunday of reading books sounded like heaven to me, too.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

When I was told that I posted too much, I came down to a crawl. I sort of promised no more than two posts in a day, if that, but realized that you don't have to keep a promise when it's so very...well...limiting and stupid? I still try to keep my count down, and no longer post my "To Do Lists" every day or just random paragraph-long posts that have nothing to do with anything.

Well, I do, just not nearly as often as it used to be. I'm actually going through a bit of a dry spell right now, so my posts are even fewer and further between than I want them to be. I'll be back up to form soon. :)

There was only one small smear mark on Sunday that will remain untalked about, but other than that it really was a luxurious day. Far too few of those being handed out lately.

Oh, also?

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I know *I* like reading what you write.

Thanks! You know how to make this guy feel special! :)