jmfargo | A Note To A Teacher

All my extra energy for the past few months has been spent in the pursuit of learning the Arabic language. When I'm walking down the halls at the college I get funny looks from people wondering why I'm concentrating so hard that I look constipated while muttering strange syllables under my breath. Worse than that is when I'm actually sitting in my chair and actively studying. It's like the world disappears around me, and there's nothing but the Arabic language in front of me. It got so bad, one night, that my wife asked me to please stop clearing my throat so loudly. The worst part is that I was in another room, with the door closed, and music playing so that I wouldn't disturb her.

Why is it, then, that I'm constantly feeling unprepared for class?

When there's a test, my brain panics, I start to freeze. An oral presentation to be given in class? I stand up in front of the other students, and feel as though I haven't learned the simplest forms of English, let alone Arabic.

Why is it? Well, for that I'm looking right at you, teach.

See, I know you haven't been teaching at this school very long, and that you love to spout off about how at Yale and Harvard the students were never late for class, never absent, but apparently there are a few things you missed realizing along the way. Let me help you here. Maybe if you listen to my advice you'll last longer at the University of Delaware than you did at those prestigious schools you like to name-drop. Here goes:

1) SHUT UP ABOUT HARVARD AND YALE!
~Obviously something happened and you're not working there any more, so every time you mention how much better the students were there, all I can wonder is why you're not still there, why you decided to move to a smaller, less famous/interesting/studious school. Every time you bring them up, all I see is failure in your eyes.

2) When you tell your students that a test is going to be specifically on a, b, and c, it's kind of rude to add subjects d and e.
~Especially when we haven't covered e. It's gotten to the point where students just don't believe you when you say that certain things are going to be on the test. Most just shrug and don't bother studying, because most of the time you don't even have a or b on the test. When asked, you say you "decided to go with something different at the last minute." Really? Did they teach you that at Harvard?

3) Making a student cry in class is not "shaking them up to be a better student," it's inappropriate.
~Giving them a hug afterward doesn't make it all better.

That's all I've got right now for you. Maybe I'll think of a few things later. The worst part is that when you're not actively teaching, you seem like a genuinely nice and caring person. I don't know why it is that the second you step into your authority mode you become inept, cruel, and down-right scary to your class.

Oh. One more:

4) In a class that's about talking in a foreign language, remember that if you intimidate us into silence we'll find it very difficult to speak, even in our native tongue.
~I'm 28 years old, comfortable and secure with myself. I'm a decade older than most kids in the class. All this together, and you still intimidate the hell out of me. I never want to speak up, even when I know I have the right answer, because of your attitude. I can't imagine what these kids go through.

Please, take this to heart. You've only been at our school for two semesters, and from the looks of things, I'm not sure you're going to last there much longer. It's obvious to us that you hate where you are; make some kind of change before it's made for you by the school.

Thanks. I hope this helps. Like I said, I think you're a nice person, you're just a horrid teacher. Good luck, and be well.

M'asselema.