Too Married

[jmfargo]

My friend Matt took me to a club. It was a relatively nice place, with the sort of atmosphere you want a single's club to have. I could see why he liked it, especially since the beer was cheap too.

At some point in the night, after I'd had a few beers and was feeling pretty good, I was approached by two ladies who could have been movie doubles for Eliza Dushku and Jessica Alba; two women I happen to find extremely attractive.

They took up positions on either side of me and ordered themselves some drinks. The one on my right turned to me, lightly gripped my arm, and whispered in my ear, "My friend and I are going back to my place, and we both think you're hot. Are you coming home with us?"

A myriad of visions flashed in front of my eyes as I began to grin. I looked back at her, glancing once again at her friend, and said the only thing I could: "I'm sorry, I'm married."

I then introduced them to Matt, the friend who brought me to the bar, who gladly went home with both of them.

Then I woke up.

And I am pissed.

First, this happens to me all the time. I start having a typical male fantasy dream, and I can't continue with it because even in my sub-conscious, I'm extremely married. "Too married" as Maria jokingly calls it. I'll be approached by female X, who happens to be my vision of loveliness and wants me, but I say "No thank you, I'm married." Every. Single. Time.

But then secondly, and more important since I'm used to the first thing, not only did my dream deny me any fun sexy time, it also stranded me at the bar!

Stupid dream.

Comments

[28bytes.livejournal.com]

I had a dream like that not too long ago, and I was initially reluctant to succumb to the advances of this strange, beautiful woman (I'm not married, but I do have a girlfriend.)

Fortunately, I realized that I wasn't me, I was Phil Collins, so I could do whatever I pleased. I guess the theory is, if you're Phil Collins, it's not cheating.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Now, while that's a good theory and all, I'm not sure I want to have to be Phil Collins in order to have a fantasy dream. :)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Note to self: channel the spirit of Phil Collins more often.

[epiclevelregina.livejournal.com]

So I guess you were coming in the air tonight? Oh Lord?

(Sorry, I couldn't resist. ^___^ )

[pleepleus.livejournal.com]

LOL! Chris will be happy to know that he is not the only guy this happens to. I think it's a good thing. Even your subconscious loves your married life. :)

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone, but let me tell you that it's kind of frustrating in a way. Just that the dream is setting you up for this thing, and then your subconscious steps in and says "Oh, wait, happily married. Sorry famous movie star person who mysteriously wants me just based on my looks."

Gah! :)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahaha epic fantasy fail!

It's funny because it's so true. Although getting stranded at the bar was a nice extra touch of tragedy.

[gypsychilde.livejournal.com]

I have given Rob permission to go with hot ladies if they were celebs because, honestly, how often does anyone have a chance to get with a celebrity? By giving Rob that "go ahead" card, I get one in return in case such a fantasy were to happen.
Perhaps you and Maria need some kind of an agreement spoken so that your subconscious would not have those blockers up? XD

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I have the go ahead.

It doesn't matter. I don't think I'd take the chance, even in real life.

I'm just not an infidelity kind of guy, even subconsciously. :)

[sydb42.livejournal.com]

I have those kinds of dreams all the time too. I'm poly, so it's not that I object because I'm married, but because when you have the option of having multiple sex partners, one of the responsible things you need to do before having sex with a new partner is to have "The Talk" about agreements, disclosure about STDs (if any) or risk factors involved, last time you were tested, etc. etc. So anytime I start to have a hot and heavy dream, I have to stop before it starts and have "The Talk", which means that I wake up well before anything actually happens.

However, I have been lucky enough to occasionally have lucid sex dreams, and that definitely makes up for all the frustrating responsible dreams. :)

[hippie-mamabear.livejournal.com]

Aww, you're a good hubby, even in your sleep. :D

[ratofthelab.livejournal.com]

Good response anyway - after luring you back to their place, they'd have drugged you, taken your kidneys and left you in a tub of ice... ;)

Marriage saved your kidneys!

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

The thought did occur to me after I had woken up.

[epiclevelregina.livejournal.com]

OMGs that happened to me all the time too. I'd be dreaming that I was in Heroes and I had to have a three-way with Parkman and Mohinder to save the world, and then I'd be all "Sorry guys, I have a boyfriend." Now that we broke up, maybe I can Paris Hilton it up in my subconscious.

[meopta.livejournal.com]

The mind is so amusing - I had a dream about my Spouse, but he was as he was when I met him twenty (cough) five years ago. I woke up appalled at myself for even thinking about a teen! OMG! How horrible! Even tho, well, that was a family film compared to what said teenager and I may (I plead the 5th) have actually done as teenagers.

[robertlyon.livejournal.com]

my girlfriend sometimes acts like she holds her bad dreams of me against me.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

That happens with a lot of people, though I don't understand it at all.