This Is My Life

Last night, I joined an adventuring party. We entered into the volcano lair through the ceiling, and generally enjoyed rampaging through the Temple of Elemental Evil.

Of course, this would be all on paper and in our minds, but it was still fun.

For the first time in quite a while, I'm playing in a D&D game. I got out and met five new people, all gamers, but don't ask me what their names are. I remember the DM, John, and that someone was named Ed. That's about it. I'm horrible with names. Still, that's about five more people that I've hung out with out here since we moved. (Not including when Earl came to visit, because we already know him.)

It was fun! Some of the players were definitely D&D players, but none so bad as the things you fear when you hear "a group of gamers." They were all men, and the testosterone levels were relatively high, but I'm willing to look past some colorful comments in order to have a good time. I wasn't insulted, much, and it's not anything I haven't heard in my life before.

But why is it that so many male gamers I know do the passive-aggressive thing, where they act like they're all meek, and then try to stare you down across the table? Seriously, I've come across this so many times. Or, when you shake hands, they feel it's necessary to try to dominate you by squeezing as hard as they possibly can? They act nice, and like they don't have a care in the world "Oh, no, that's cool, don't worry about it," but then stare at you for the next ten minutes, daring you to make eye contact.

Of course, I do. I think one guy, dubbed as "the goth of the group,*" had never been stared down before. He did what I would only think to call his patented glare when my character up-staged his (hell, I was just playing the game and saving another character's life), trying to bore a hole through my skull, so I looked back, and kept looking until he looked away. I was more curious than anything else; and when he looked away, I saw the look I had been looking for, a mix of curiosity and defeat. "Wait, he actually kept looking at me!"

I just don't get it. Are we gamers that far-flung from reality? Do we think we need to find our place in a group of gamers? I'm there to play, not to devolve into marking my territory.

*Goth? They call him that because he wears a leather jacket. I'm more Goth than this guy, and that's saying something. But don't get me wrong, I DO like him.