This Is My Life

I'm starting to get used to this whole "getting up in the morning" thing that most other people seem to do automatically. I'm finding my own rhythm, realizing that if I get as much sleep in a night as your average person, I'm going to wake up groggy and tired.

Why does that surprise me, when I've "learned" the same thing at least 20 times before now?

Seems like I'm a student of my own history, and I'm just not very good at it. I always talk about how I want to figure stuff out on my own, grasp the world by the horns, and just ride it. I'll figure out how to lose weight on my own. I'll learn how to start a business on my own. I'll...I'll...and on, and on.

But I forget, oh so easily.

So, a few things I need to remember about myself:

1) 7 hours of sleep a night is good. 6 1/2 is better.

2) I have to keep a food journal in order to lose weight, otherwise, I forget what I've had.

3) Working out in the morning actually gives me more energy during the day.

4) I like working out, or at least how I feel afterward.

5) I'm much better at learning than I think I am.

6) I am NOT a good sword fighter. No, seriously. Stop that thought right now.

So, there. 6 things I need to remember about me. Hopefully I'll remember, but if I had to guess I'd say you'll be seeing a post eerily similar to this one in about 4 to 6 months. Just a guess though.

I'm feeling strangely maudlin and emotional today. No idea what's up with that - must be the dark clouds and rain, I suppose. They tend to get to me when I'm not looking.

I got a spider bite the other day, and at first it wasn't a big deal, just kind of a dull thrum of pain and a hard spot where I was bitten. Well, it got worse and worse, and to make a long story gross, it exploded, causing quite a bit more pain and discomfort.

Well, it wouldn't be too bad, but this bite? Yeah, it's on the fleshy part of my right hand ring finger, near the tip. I type for a living.

Put it together.

Yeah.

In yet other news, I'm wondering something:

If the world was about to end in some major cataclysm, what would you want your final words to be?

( My answers under the cut )

So on my way home from breakfast and dropping Maria off at work I crossed over a bridge in the car, and had to swerve violently to avoid a behemoth of a turtle! It's legs slowly and surely were carrying it into the middle of morning rush hour traffic, and in the Buffalo area "rush hour" doesn't mean gridlocked traffic, it means RUSH!

I knew I had to do something.

The nearest side street wasn't too far away, probably a tenth of a mile or so. I pulled the car on the side street so as not to block traffic, and ran back to the turtle before some unobservant motorist cracked it in two. That's right, I ran. Okay, jogged. Walked at a fast pace?

I knew as I approached. Knew. This big monstrosity could be nothing other than a Snapping turtle. Yet still I held hope. "Maybe," I thought to myself as I started breathing heavy from what I consider a run and others consider a dorky looking power-walk, "maybe it's just a really big box turtle, or painted turtle! Wouldn't that be nice?"

As I got closer I saw the tail, and all hope was dashed. The dragon-like tail whipped back and forth in fury and the hind-leg talons gripped into asphalt like an eagle's claws grind into mere flesh. This creature, this prehistoric dinosaur, was a Snapper. It's vicious head flung back and forth in warning as I approached, telling me "Back off man, I've got a beak-like nose and a ton of biting power, and I'm not afraid to use it!" The cars had stopped for now, except for one man who approached on a mission similar to mine. He parked his car to block any potential oncoming traffic to allow me to pick up the turtle. Thank you, you brave man, whoever you are, for stopping all the invisible traffic so that random person x (me) could risk his fingers.*

It wasn't small. As I gripped it by the back of the shell, between the front and rear legs but closer to the rear so that the back claws couldn't rake my fingers, and held it away from my body so as not to crush the relatively fragile tail I realized something. This sucker was heavy! If I had to guess its weight I would put it between one hundred and fifteen to one hundred and twenty pounds, give or take** one hundred pounds. Still though, it wasn't a light thing to carry a squirming, trying to eat my fingers, wild animal down a freshly-wet-with-dew-and-surprisingly-steep embankment to put it safely down next to the water it originally came from.

My favorite part was how it kept trying to eat my face. It would duck its head inside the shell and try to surprise me by snapping out and up, bashing the back of its head on the top of the shell, making a loud *WHOMP* noise as it hit. The loud and very audible *click* of its beak-like mouth actually was kind of frightening in a "I'm really glad I'm at the advantage here" kind of way.

So, good deed done for the day. I win.***

Jeremiah: 1
Turtle: 0

*Actually, I do appreciate what he was trying to do.
**Take.
***+100 experience.