Wishes, or Truth?
Mar. 15th, 2006 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jmfargoI'm a pretty easy going guy, and it takes a lot to really get me riled up. People have commented on this, in fact. Now don't get me wrong, I'll yell at the jack ass that just cut me off, or the moron that wont' get off my bumper at 70 miles per hour, but outside of a car I'm a calm, lucid, caring individual. Things just don't shake me much.
Or at least, that's what I see.
Sometimes, I think the world might see me a little differently. I've started tracking my behavior a little bit, and I realize that maybe I react in anger more often than I realize, but I never registered it that way because I always thought of anger as "I'm gonna KILL you!!" kind of yelling.
Instead, I sigh deeply, shake my head, go quiet, and ignore. Doesn't matter what it is, I ignore it. No, it's not a silent treatment, instead my entire body goes into a language mode that says "I don't care what you're saying, you're nothing to me." Sure, my face might say something else, but I think that from the outside it's fairly obvious that whatever emotions are there are just masks. I'm not sure, though, I'm on the inside.
Am I the only one that realized I don't have as good a hold on myself as I thought? It seems sometimes as though I'm not as in control as I thought, and that I don't know myself quite as much as I thought. It's one of the big reasons I signed up for the Johari and Nohari windows, to see what people thought of me so that I could assess it in a calm and critical manner.
What do you think? If you know me, am I calm, or am I deluding myself? If you don't know me personally, are you a calm, or angry person? Would the people in your life describe you as what you think you are? Sometimes the people around us are the most poigniant mirror.
Or at least, that's what I see.
Sometimes, I think the world might see me a little differently. I've started tracking my behavior a little bit, and I realize that maybe I react in anger more often than I realize, but I never registered it that way because I always thought of anger as "I'm gonna KILL you!!" kind of yelling.
Instead, I sigh deeply, shake my head, go quiet, and ignore. Doesn't matter what it is, I ignore it. No, it's not a silent treatment, instead my entire body goes into a language mode that says "I don't care what you're saying, you're nothing to me." Sure, my face might say something else, but I think that from the outside it's fairly obvious that whatever emotions are there are just masks. I'm not sure, though, I'm on the inside.
Am I the only one that realized I don't have as good a hold on myself as I thought? It seems sometimes as though I'm not as in control as I thought, and that I don't know myself quite as much as I thought. It's one of the big reasons I signed up for the Johari and Nohari windows, to see what people thought of me so that I could assess it in a calm and critical manner.
What do you think? If you know me, am I calm, or am I deluding myself? If you don't know me personally, are you a calm, or angry person? Would the people in your life describe you as what you think you are? Sometimes the people around us are the most poigniant mirror.
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-15 07:11 pm (UTC)Sounds like a crazy day. Handling it well? I mean, you're only a 10 year old girl, they shouldn't put so much stress on you!
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Date: 2006-03-15 09:35 pm (UTC)Seriously though, I don't mind the hubbub of it all, it just gets old fast. I've got one more big one to go to tonight and that one lasts until 6PM *YIKES* I normally am off work at 4:30-ish. Oh well at least I can leave early tomorrow.