Jumbled

[jmfargo]

I was just given the chance to get in touch with many of my closest friends from my years in high school, and though I look over their profiles with a smile on my face, I hesitate in indecision before clicking to start reading. Immediately, I'm sucked back in to old feelings, remembering what we used to be, how close we were, how good it was to simply be with these people that I haven't talked with in almost six years.

Things have changed so much. Even now, thinking back to the way it was back then I feel nostalgic, and kind of lonely. I love Maria, and hanging out with my friends out here is great, but these old friends and I had the connection of going through the roughest times of our lives together. Okay, maybe not the roughest, but some real turbulence that messed us all up.

So many things have changed, but then I see my old friend's smile in a photograph, and I see the same old person there, behind the years that have changed them.

I miss them. I don't know what else to say.

I realize that I'm a little ... angsty ... today, and I apoligize for that. It's been a day for deep introspection. I'm a little bit not here in my brain. It's not depression, just wishing for things I can't have. I need to go do some kind of work-out, I think, to get out a little bit of these feelings that are invading.


((EDIT: Yeah, that's right, I signed up for a myspace account. That's me. See how original my user name is?))

Comments

Hehe

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

-- I'm a little bit not here in my brain. --

Welcome to how I feel 24/7, 365. Now if I could only charge the aliens that are utilizing the space rent I'd be in business.

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Just really out of it, in a non-usual way. I mean, I'm normally out of it, but something about touching my past has really stirred me up.

Wish you were out this way, I'd ask to go play paintball, or even just "duel to the death" with fake swords, shields, giant hammers, whatever.

At least I ~think~ that's something you'd be into.

Don't know. Can't think right now. Gonna go practice some of my longsword manuevers.

Re: Hehe

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't played paintball since last winter!
We should go shoot each other sometime ;)

-tt

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I'd have to get all my equipment up to date (buy a new CO2 canister and paintballs) but if things go well that sounds like a good time!

I haven't played paintball since 7 years ago, so I think you'll have the edge ... and more to aim at. ;)

Re: Hehe

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

-- or even just "duel to the death" with fake swords, shields, giant hammers, whatever.

At least I ~think~ that's something you'd be into. --

Strangely I wouldn't mind doing it, but it doesn't appeal to me to do so up here. I spent several years doing weapons training for martial arts (specifically the bo staff [aka quarterstaff]). I've had friends who are in the SCA up here try to get me involved, but eh, they won't let me use a quarterstaff, and from what I've seen (I've watched a few events) I could mop the floor with most, if not all, of them with or without a quarterstaff. They claim some of the moves I'd try are non-sportsmanlike, but I say if I'm swinging a quarterstaff (or another weapon) about I'll be damned if I won't take the opportunity to trip someone with it. That's part of the technique of fighting, and extremely useful. It is supposed to be "mock" combat after all.

That being said, I'm very skilled at any weapon that doesn't have a moving part. Nun-chucks, or a three-section-staff? Hell no. I'm just as likely to injure myself (even with foam replicas) as I am to injure someone else. I won't tell you the painful experiences I had when my sensai tried to show me how to properly wield those weapons. Needless to say, after watching me try he gave up and told me to go back to practicing with the quarterstaff.

Having trained to fight on a professional level and then seeing what most people up here in the SCA are capable of, it just doesn't appeal to me. I'm not trying to sound cocky or anything, but it just comes down to experience and my own natural instincts of fighting. If I watch someone fight for 30 seconds or so I can spot (and usually exploit) a weakness in their fighting style. Its what I was trained to do.

Re: Hehe

[(Anonymous)]

I think I need to get into this some time, even if just to help me with LARPing.
Of course, you can't trip or go for head-shots in LARPS, and you don't get to do 'One Shot Kills' either, and those reduce the number of useful martial-arts training that can cross over... Then again, I've always wanted to learn to use the Sai, not sure why :)

-tt

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

and you don't get to do 'One Shot Kills' either,

Speak for your own LARP. ;)

Dagorhir is very much a "one shot kill" battle game, which is the combat I enjoy for when I'm duelling outside, simply because it's more realistic and allows those with actual skill to prevail as opposed to those that can flick their wrists very fast.

I'm not trying to be down on any LARPs, understand, I'm just saying that I prefer one style over another.

Re: Hehe

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, that is one reason I was hoping Luke would give the Dagohir combat system a loosee. I've never used it, but if it were possible to build a NERO style game with the Dagohir combat system, that would be neat :)

Time to watch some Firefly now!

-tt

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, a high-magic game like NERO wouldn't work well with a Dagorhir style fight. However, it'd be nice to see someone willing to actually ~make a new system~ (imagine that) as opposed to making yet another NERO clone. I can list, with little thought, five NERO clones in the NY area, not including FLARE. It's getting ridiculous.

However, I do applaud them in trying, and wish them best of luck. If he DOES want to talk about the basics of Dagorhir, the rules are VERY simple, and made to be quick, deadly, and fun. It'd make a great LARP, in my opinion, but the focus would have to be more on personal skill and roleplaying because if there was as much fighting as there is in a typical LARP, everyone will be dead. Dead. Dead.

Re: Hehe

[(Anonymous)]

Have you tried mixing the two in any manner? I know it's deadly, but why not work? Just wondering.

-tt

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

It's not that it won't work, it's that it won't work well. High magic, like the NERO system, will CRUSH a simple fighting system like Dagorhir. Now, if you have someone willing to really work with the rules, change things out like damage calls which mean nothing in Dagorhir, and playtest it to the heavens to tweak it until it really works, then you'll have something.

Right now, however, with simple NERO clones, it won't work. The work-around to ~get it~ to work would, by default, change the system into a non-NERO clone, which would be a good thing, of course.

On a completely unrelated note, if you log in to a livejournal, you get your comments emailed to you. I responded to a bunch of your old comments a while back, and realized that you'll probably never see them because you have no reason to realize that they're there.

tx2 is waiting for you, if you're interested.

Re: Hehe

[(Anonymous)]

That's funny, I have thought that before ('If he replies to something older than a day or three, I'll probably never notice it!') No, you can't sucker me in with that! :)

If you weren't going to Narnia that night, I'd almost take you up on coming out Saturday just to hang out, but I'm sure I'll have plenty to do, I haven't even THOUGHT about Christmas shopping yet!

And yes, I think NERO clones miss out on a lot of possibilities, but then again, I haven't played other LARPs to see what they miss out on that NERO has. I completely understand the desire to write something entirely different. So, how COULD one mix High Magic and a simpler, more realistic combat system?

-tt

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

If I could miss the Narnia thing, I'd offer to take you around to the malls out here, but alas, I have already committed to something, and I hate to go back on my word. Would love to hang out, but ...

Seriously though, I made tx2 just for you if you ever DO decide to get an account. I figured you could have it just to leave comments so that they get emailed to you directly. *shrugs* If you don't want it, that's fine of course.

And yes, non-NERO games DO miss out on some things that NERO has, for example I love high-magic games, but most other games have little or no. Getting high magic and realistic combat together is something I'm working diligently on. Believe me, it's quite a conundrum, but I think I'm fineageling something into place that'll work.

Now I just have to playtest, playtest, tweak, playtest, tweak, playtest ad infinum.

Re: Hehe

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

-- Then again, I've always wanted to learn to use the Sai, not sure why :) --

A friend of mine witnessed a sai weapons form (kata) performed in a tournament once by a very skilled amateur. The end move for the form required the wielder of the sai to plant (fling the weapon down and wedge it into the ground) the weapon. Everyone who I've seen who adopts this form into tournament style opts to bring the weapon down and touch the point to the floor. Because to do otherwise would damage (if not destroy) the floor indoors.

Now as you can already surmise this novice didn't choose that option. He finished the form and instantly released it with a kai shout and a plant. The sai proceeded to become 'stuck' into the floor of the gymnasium. From what my friend told me though he won the competition but dang...what a way to win. "Congratulations sir, now here's the bill."

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

You're the kind of person I LOVE to train against, simply because it teaches me where my vulnerabilities ARE (everywhere, it's been WAY too long since I've practiced) and if the person I'm sparring against is willing to help me improve by telling me what they're exploiting it's that much better.

I hurt myself with nun-chucks once, but the three section staff is actually quite fluid in my hands. :) (I mean, I can't DO anything with it, but it has a nice rythm when I use one, and I've been told that's the most important thing at the beginning.)

Re: Hehe

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

I'm always willing to help people improve but most of the time its more instinct/training than a sheer, "You've lowered your right arm, and that allows me to do X."

I have said before though that if given someone to tutor and their willingness to learn, that I can teach them better ways to be more efficient at combat. This I still stick with as I've taught master's in the martial arts things they didn't know before, and that in its own right is pretty cool. They asked me where I learned those things and I tell them the truth, "Mostly I just come up with it in my head or when an opportunity presents itself and I think, 'that'd be a good move if I did X'."

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Well, just move on down here and I'll gladly be your first apprentice.

Can I call you "Senator?"

(Step one of my training lately has been "lose weight," and for the first time in years it's WORKING! Very proud of myself so I had to share.)

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Damn it. *sigh* No "Senator," "Councilor!"

Like, "Councilor Palaptine?" Huh? huh? Nudge, nudge?

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

I have always had an issue with how the SCA focuses on "honorable" combat, but then claims to be so historically accurate.

Yeah, because on a battlefield I'm not going to hit you in the back before you cut down someone in my army, because that wouldn't be honorable ...

Re: Hehe

[akdidge.livejournal.com]

-- I have always had an issue with how the SCA focuses on "honorable" combat, but then claims to be so historically accurate. --

You and me both. Honor meant nothing in any 'real' battle in history. Now, if only I could make those SCA folks up here realize that my History Degree is actually worth the paper its printed on.

Re: Hehe

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

One of the reasons I enjoy Dagorhir so much is that honor only exists if the combatants decides it does. In other words, sure you might be having an "honor battle" in the middle of the battle field, but you know what? I'm going to kill the guy you're fighting against when his back is turned because you could be used elsewhere right now and you're wasting time.

Not that I recently did this to someone and later had to calmly explain to them why an honor battle in melee was REALLY useless. Kill them and move on. That's MY motto! (In the game, of course. It's the motto of my NINJAS in real life. They do my dirty work.)

[cieo.livejournal.com]

Do they live very far away from you, or have you just grown apart?

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Since I moved out here, most of them live three hours from me, though some moved even farther. Since it's been six years since I've lived nearby, we've drifted apart.

Therefore? Both. :-/

[cieo.livejournal.com]

If you miss them, then host a get-together! Why the hell not?

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Well, mostly because it's been 6 years, but also because ... well, most of the people that I could have a get-together with are female, and two or three of them that I would still consider good friends are ex-girlfriends. This probably wouldn't sit well with Maria, even if she ISN'T a jealous type, that's just asking too much of her in my opinion.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to get together with these friends (both female and male), but there are lots of factors beyond simply getting together.